Co-Sleeping ... Yes or No?

We've all heard the pro's and con's many times when it comes to having our little ones sleep in the same bed as us but most of the time it all comes from health officials. However when you ask other Mam's they seem to have a completely different opinion.

There are a lot of benefits when it comes to co-sleeping, along with the obvious known risks that surround everything relating to having a newborn in bed with you. An increased chance of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and parents perhaps rolling onto the child are the main drawbacks, however, the chances of these happening isn't that common unless the parents drink or smoke too much or fail to make sure the bed is safe.

One of the biggest concerns among parents seems to be that they think sleeping in the same bed as their child will cause potential problems later on. While some experts argue that sleep sharing promotes independence by making baby feel secure, others say that the longer you wait to move them into their own bed or room, the greater the chances they will have a tough time adjusting when you finally do.

From personal experience, whilst I was pregnant I was one of the many who thought it would create attachment issues and I was freaked out at the thought that I could potentially be putting my daughter at risk. Since she has arrived my opinion has completely reversed, like many of your own opinions will or probably have.

Livvy was born two weeks early, a story for another post, so she was a very clingy baby to start with and even now she loves being held a lot. When we were still in the hospital with her the first night she was a dream, she slept in her cot by herself and didn't make a fuss. Typical then that the second night when Matty couldn't stay with us she would not settle at all, so I made the decision for my own sanity more than anything, to pick her up and cuddle her in bed with me. She settled immediately and slept straight through two of her night feeds.

Back home the first few weeks we had a mixture of good nights and bad, she could be perfectly content in her moses basket one night and the next she would need to be cuddled all night. This was fine by me as newborn cuddles are the best feeling in the world. She would still wake for her feeds as usual and we settled into a nice routine.

The big change to solely co-sleeping came when I went to visit my Mam back in Blackpool for a week. The first night she would just not settle at all in her carrycot. So as I would at home I got her into bed with me around 11pm, gave her a dream feed, cuddled her to sleep and then bam! I woke up and it was 7am. She had slept through the whole night for the first time! I decided to test this out the next night to make sure it wasn't just a fluke and I was proven right. She slept through for 12 nights in a row because I carried on the same routine of an 11pm feed then cuddles and sleep, when we came back home. Since then we still co-sleep, some nights she will wake for an extra feed half way through the night but others she sleeps through and let me tell you it makes for one happy Mam and Dad.

Now, i'm not naive and I know this won't work for everyone, which is why I asked the ladies on my birthing group on Facebook to share their experiences of co-sleeping.

"As I'm breastfeeding I love how Darcie can help herself when she likes. I get a full nights sleep and were both happy." - Christina  

"Co-sleeping, for me, is such an intimate and special thing for me and my baby. The absolute best thing in the world is knowing she feels safe when she wakes up, feels around for me and knows I’m still there, so she lets herself go back to sleep." -  Lauren

"I'm breastfeeding and it makes things easy in the wee hours. I do love cuddling up to Ava to fall asleep, its lovely being so close and it definately calms her too, it is a lovely bonding experiance and just feels so natural. To start with I was terrified to have her in bed in case of rolling over but I am always aware if she moves at all and instantly wake up. She is definately more content and moves less in bed with me as when I have put her in her basket she is quite restless, fidgeting and this then wakes me up more. The only downside is my hubby sleeps in the spare room as he is a deep sleeper and I wouldn't trust him not rolling over, I miss having him in bed! I do intend to get her in her own sleeping space over the next few weeks and have found that if I put her in her basket on the bed next to me this is a good transition." - Claire

"Love co sleeping here! I have thought about trying Evie in her basket again but I just can't do it lol. I find we both sleep much better and as I'm breastfeeding it means minimal disruption and I don't even have to get up. I think I'd worry if she was in her basket and probably end up getting up loads to check on her! Also co slept with Noah but not till he was older." - Maya 

"Jack loved co sleeping but I didn't get on with it. I got barely any sleep as I was worried I'd hurt him or he was so snuffly I couldn't sleep. Lovely for a nap though!" - Alex

"I co-slept with my daughter from about 4 months old to 12 months old, she slept through until 4 months, then decided she wanted to breastfeed 1-2 hourly during the night, I was exhausted and co-sleeping really helped. We both got good quality sleep, however one little movement and I was awake, it's amazing how you are still in tune with them even when you are asleep. When I went back to work it became a problem, I have to work half day shifts and half night shifts, which are 13 hrs, my daughter would never take my milk from a bottle, and cried for me practically all night, my husband was stressed, my baby was stressed, and I couldn't concentrate at work which is very important in my job as a neonatal nurse. I was so worried about her. After trying a few things that didn't work, I reluctantly went down the controlled crying route. It was actually less stressful than leaving her screaming and worrying all night when I was working. It worked for us. I wouldn't change the fact we co-slept, Holly had reflux and co-sleeping and regular breastfeeding comforted her. I now have a baby boy who is nearly 7 weeks, I'm not planning on co-sleeping at the moment as he sleeps really well in his crib for 8-9 hrs straight, but if he needs me or if he decides to wake lots during the night I'll co-sleep with him. Holly is a confident, funny, intelligent individual, she had LOTS of cuddles, and baby wearing as a baby and toddler, I'm still breastfeeding her at the age of 2, (tandem feeding) the controlled crying doesn't seem to have affected her in a negative way. I don't feel guilty about any choices I have made despite others 'advice." - Stef 

"we refused with DS1 even though he cried when put down in the moses basket - we were too scared to try so refused and I think his sleep suffered for it. He was a bad sleeper from the start and struggled to settle. DS2 didn't want to be put down either so we went with it and already he sleeps far better than DS1 did until he was over a year old! We had a 7hr stretch the night before last which I think is amazing for a 9 week old. DS1s longest stretch was 4hrs max! we have a co sleeper cot this time which I love and helps me know he's safe if I put him down next to me. I breastfeed too and find it really helps as you don't need to get up as much each time in the night, and can dose a bit whilst feeding too" - Jane

"Isaac who is 7 weeks, is my second and i also co sleep with him if and when needed. He does sleep in his own crib, but i have to cuddle him to sleep as he is suffering quite badly with reflux and colic, as well as constipation. It as also helped me bond with Isaac over what has been a difficult 5 weeks. i have become more tuned in to his needs and i ignore the 'your making a rod for your own back' comments. im looking after my babys emotional and physical needs as well as my own." - Lisa

I have to say I agree with the point of being in tune with your baby, I am totally aware of where Livvy is in our bed even whilst in deep sleep. Hopefully you can judge for yourselves whether it will be right for you or not but at the end of the day you never know until you try!



(For those unfamiliar with shorthand from our groups DS = Dearest Son)